


How Juan meets Fernando in 5 different lives

by lumaste, prompt_fills



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Collaboration, Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-06
Updated: 2012-12-06
Packaged: 2017-11-27 17:05:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/664383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumaste/pseuds/lumaste, https://archiveofourown.org/users/prompt_fills/pseuds/prompt_fills
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Juanando, reincarnation!AU (hence the character death warning) with a happy ending. <span>Collab with an anon from <span class="ljuser i-ljuser"></span></span><a href="http://footballkink2.livejournal.com/profile"><img class="i-ljuser-userhead"/></a><a class="i-ljuser-username" href="http://footballkink2.livejournal.com/"></a><b>footballkink2</b>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Juan meets Fernando in 5 different lives

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  Written for [](http://footballkink2.livejournal.com/profile)[**footballkink2**](http://footballkink2.livejournal.com/), PP3, [this prompt](http://footballkink2.livejournal.com/9132.html?thread=2985644):  
>  _How Juan meets Fernando in 5 different lives AU. Have this trope been written before? :)_
> 
>  
> 
> This story is a collab between me and another anon who I do not know. I wrote parts II and IV, the rest is their amazing work. :)
> 
> ETA (12/07/2014): Turns out the anon is the ever awesome [Lumaste](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lumaste/works)!

**I**

  
Juan is lazily flipping through the channels when he sees him. It's a stupid fashion show, but the host announces the name of the new face of Dolce and Gabbana - Fernando Torres. They show his smiling face and the next thing Juan remembers is himself knelt in front of the screen and his sister trying to drag him away.

Juan becomes obsessed from that day. He starts constantly overlooking his architecture classes, eats little, doesn't go out, spends as little as possible saving money for realizing his dream of meeting Fernando. Maybe this is the chance, maybe they can be together again after so many lives, after so much suffering.

One day he reads that Fernando will stay in a luxury hotel in Milan for three days to take part in a fashion parade. He spends all his savings on a plane ticket to Milan and on the booking of a room in the same hotel for one night.

He waits with the rest of the fans in front of the hotel for the limousine to arrive. The security keeps the people away from the car. Juan's heart skips a beat when the door opens, and when Fernando goes out, he almost faints. He's more beautiful than from the screen, more beautiful than Juan remembered from the previous lives. Their gazes meet and Fernando freezes for a second looking at Juan in shock.

"Remember, remember," Juan pleads desperately.

A muscular and attractive guy steps out of the car and puts his hand on Fernando's shoulder making him come out from his stupor. He turns to the guy and smiles lovingly.

"No, no, look at me, remember me," Juan whispers.

"They are so beautiful, aren't they?" a woman says next to him.

"Who is this guy?" Juan asks her.

"It's Sergio Ramos," the woman answers surprised as though Juan should have known him, "Fernando's agent and boyfriend."

"B-boyfriend?" Juan stutters.

"Yeah, aren't they perfect?" the woman coos, "They are made for each other."

"No, he's made for me. He's mine," Juan wants to shout, but the woman is already chatting with someone else.

 

Juan's brilliant mood is ruined because of that Sergio guy. He shouldn't be with Fernando. Juan has lived many meaningless, sad lives searching for his only love. Now he when he found him again, he's with another one. Juan gives all his remaining money to the cleaner to find out at what floor Fernando has stopped.

His heart is beating madly when he comes out of the elevator to go to Fernando's room. But he doesn't have to go that far. Right in front of his eyes his Fernando is passionately kissing with Sergio. His hand is under Sergio's pants, Sergio's is under Fernando's shirt. Juan clears his throat loudly. They break off from each other and smile guiltily.

"Let's go to our room," Sergio whispers.

"No, wait," Juan says, "Look at me, Fernando."

Fernando looks at him bewildered and freezes again. He opens his mouth and tilts his head. Juan can see the sparks of recognition in his eyes.

"It's me, remember me, my love," Juan says, "Remember me, please."

"Nando, let's go," Sergio urges.

Fernando shakes his head and looks away. "Yeah, let's go," he says.

"No, wait," Juan cries, "Please, wait. I love you."

Fernando and Sergio are already almost running.

"What a creep," Juan hears Sergio tell.

He runs after them and starts banging at their door. He knows he looks like a madman, but he's been waiting for so long. He can't lose Fernando now.

When the carabinieri take him away, Juan cries.

 

He doesn't see Fernando anymore. He spends his life working as an architect in a small construction company following Fernando from distance. His heart breaks when he reads about his difficult relationship with Sergio, about Sergio cheating on him, about Fernando's depression. His heart breaks even more when they announce their wedding day declaring that they have put the past behind.

Juan grows old alone and welcomes death with relief waiting for the next life. Waiting for Fernando.

 

 

 

**II**

It takes Juan much longer than it should to realise that the memories are real. They had always been there for as long as he could remember, surfacing and mingling with his fantasies. But mostly, they are real memories. It is hard to believe, because it takes over thirty years of his life until Juan gets to meet him.

It’s the second week of January, it’s snowing and their hospital is pretty busy when he is called up for another urgent situation. Juan’s step falters when he sees his patient.

Beautiful, pale, comatose. Juan would recognise him anywhere. Much to his own annoyance, Juan forgot the name. He remembers everything else, though.

He quickly looks into the file, his eyes skimming over the grim prognosis. Fernando Torres.

He glances up, half expecting the eyes to flutter open and meet his gaze. A flicker of recognition and then...

“Doctor?”

Juan turns around to see a middle-aged woman with dark circles under her eyes. Juan’s heart clenches but he quickly stamps down the inappropriate feelings and he is what he’s been thought to be – a professional. He is honest with her, there is no point of giving her a false hope.

“He managed to maintain his airway,” he hears himself saying. “But the chances aren’t looking very good, ma’am.”

Maybe it is clear from the tone of his voice, maybe the pain he feels is mirroring in his eyes. She covers her face in her hands and weeps.

“I’ll do everything I can,” he promises her, his throat tight.

Juan starts working overtime and spends every waking moment trying to win the lost battle. He researches ruthlessly and learns everything there is to know about patients with the same condition as Fernando. The chances are slim, the reflexes weaker and weaker and one day Fernando’s body stops responding to the pain altogether.

Juan buys Fernando white orchids, because he remembers. He places the flowers in the vase on the nightstand next to Fernando’s bed. Next day, Fernando’s wife is the only one who leans over and smells them. She is always there when she can and she tries to stay strong. Juan has to admire her for that. He wonders if she had always been there in the other lives and he hopes not. The pain she has to deal with is enough for several lifetimes. And Fernando is his soulmate, not hers. He is sure of it.  
In this life, though, Juan knows they’ve _both_ already lost him.

They try alternative treatments, they try operations, they consult specialists from the other side of the world, Juan makes sure they do. Fernando remains unresponsive and despite Juan’s best efforts, his heart breaks over and over, and over again each time he fails to bring any results.

Juan knows it’s unavoidable and she senses it too. He promises himself to look after her because she’s been important to Fernando in this life.

It’s the first week of May when Fernando passes away and all Juan can think is: ‘He didn’t wait for me.’ Juan wants this life to be over that very moment.

The years pass and Juan’s despair grows. He doesn’t want to live his life without Fernando but he doesn’t commit a suicide. The risk of not being able to rejoin Fernando is too high.

Juan dies at the age of eighty nine.

  
**III**   


Sometimes Juan thinks that whoever controls all this must be one sick fuck. How else to explain that he can be so close to Fernando without actually being with him? It's a sweet torture for Juan and even though he suffers, he'd rather have Fernando by his side as a friend, than to see him only from distance or lose him too early.

They meet at Johannesburg, though of course Juan has heard of him before. Who hasn't? But he realizes it's him, when he sees him face to face and stares for a good minute unable to return Fernando's warm smile. Despite this they become friends almost instantly. They discover that they have many things in common. Fernando discovers, Juan knows, has always known.

Juan starts hoping. Can't help it. He hopes they will become more than just friends. Hopes they'll become one as they are meant to be. But it is written on Fernando's face "married with children" and Juan knows that his hopes will be shattered.

The other guys tease Fernando good-naturedly for being so boring, for marrying his childhood sweetheart, for having the one and only relationship with her. Fernando just smiles. Juan wishes he could meet Fernando in his childhood before her.

When Juan gets the chance to transfer to Chelsea, to Fernando, he agrees without a second thought. He shushes the small part of his brain that reminds him how much he'll suffer. At least I'll be next to him, he thinks.

Turns out he's underestimated the ordeal awaiting him. Fernando and him grow even closer. Fernando finds him an apartment in the building he lives in. He makes Juan salads, pizza and his famous Spanish omelets. He helps him to settle in London, to get to know the English football, the other players. Juan almost becomes a member of his family. Juan spends so much time with them. He loves Fernando's kids. When he plays with little Nora and Leo, he thinks that in the next life they should adopt a kid. Occasionally he pretends that these two tiny creatures are his and Fernando's. But his illusions don't last long. As soon as he sees Olalla holding hands with Fernando or cooing over their - their, not Juan's - children, Juan's heart starts bleeding so hard he's afraid he'll die of internal hemorrhage.

Juan's heart also bleeds when he sees Fernando's sad eyes after every match he doesn't score, when his shoulders sag almost unnoticeably (but not for Juan) under the jeers of the stadium. Juan tries to help him as much as he can and during the interviews Fernando always mentions how grateful he is for Juan's support.

"I feel like I've known you my whole life," Fernando says once.

"Even longer," Juan says seriously, but Fernando just laughs.

They win the Champions League and the European Cup together. Fernando even lets Juan score the last goal in the Euro final and when Juan jumps on him, he feels as though he's never been happier for a whole eternity.

 

Sometimes it seems to Juan that when their eyes meet, there is the same look in Fernando's eyes as Juan is sure there is in his own - the one of longing, passion and... love. In these moments he almost leans and kisses Fernando, but reminds himself that Fernando doesn't belong to him in this life. He has a wife and two kids and he loves them.

Eventually things go better for Fernando. Juan stays by his side and they win a few other trophies before retiring. He gets himself a pretty girlfriend along the way, because that's what professional footballers do. He breaks up with her soon.

They meet often also after retirement. They are still best friends and though Juan has to bite his lips until they bleed for not blurting out how much he loves Fernando every time they meet, he can't help calling him almost every day. He watches his kids grow up, participates at their weddings, plays with their children. Fernando is still enjoying Juan's company and it makes Juan's heart ache and explode with happiness at the same time.

For the 60th anniversary of their great victory in South Africa the Federation organizes a big event. All the stars of the Golden Generation - now grey-haired and wrinkled - gather together. Juan hasn't seen Fernando for a long time. They are old and don't go out as often as they used to. Juan notices that Fernando doesn't look very good. When Fernando gives the final hug to Juan, he leans and whispers to his ear, "I don't know when we'll meet again, Juan, but I just want you to know you've been my best friend in my whole life."

Juan swallows. "I know, Fer," he says, "You're my best friend too."

"It wasn't everything I wanted to tell you," Fernando says looking down, "Even though you were my best friend, I... I felt something I shouldn't have. I-I think I were, you know, in love with you. Sorry."

Fernando squeezes his shoulder, smiles weakly and walks away. Juan doesn't stop him, doesn't call him back, doesn't shout that he was in love, no, he loved Fernando too. He doesn't want Fernando to feel the horrid emptiness he feels at that moment, the pain of missed opportunities and happiness that could have been theirs. But then again maybe not, Juan thinks watching with tears in his eyes how Nora's son helps Fernando to the car.

Juan doesn't see Fernando again in this life.

 

 

**IV**

 

It is the first snow that year. It is wet and squishy and Juan sticks out his tongue in concentration as he observes his handiwork. Then some kids from the neighbourhood come running past him and they shove at each other and at Juan who doesn’t manage to step aside on time. Juan topples over and crushes his handiwork to death. Juan doesn’t like those kids. They’re always calling him names and they don’t like his imaginary friend.

With a sigh, Juan rolls over and stares into the sky. A hand appears out of nothing, hovering. Juan shifts and sees his imaginary friend. “Nando?” he asks, automatically accepting the offered hand. Fernando pulls him up. The touch feels solid. Maybe Fernando, his best friend, isn’t so imaginary after all.

Fernando lets go of his hand, puffing his chubby cheeks. “Yeah, how do you know me?”

Juan opens his mouth to answer but nothing comes out.

“Never mind,” says Fernando, eyeing the mutilated snowman next to Juan. “Hey, want me to help you build a new one?”

Juan sniffles and turns to look at the sad pile of snow. “No.”

“Oh c’mon, don’t let them ruin this for you,” he says and starts putting the remains of what once was the snowman’s head back together. “Um, what’s your name again?”

“Juan.”

“Ok, Juan. Go fetch some carrot.”

“Why?” Jun asks, feeling more curious than annoyed.

“Because it needs a new nose. And because you’re younger.”

Juan carefully observes the other boy. “Yeah, aren’t you too old to be building a snowman?”

“You’re never too old for that,” Fernando says solemnly and throws a snowball at Juan and Juan ducks and knows that this friendship is going to last a lifetime, if not longer.

Juan’s glovers are soaked and his fingers freezing by the time they’re done with the snowman. Fernando orders him to take the gloves off and he takes Juan’s hands into his. Fernando’s hands are just as warm as Juan’s imaginary friend’s.

“Your hands are always so warm,” Juan says and adds in one breath: “let’s go over to my place.”

“No,” Fernando says and Juan feels his heart clench in his chest. But then Fernando is sliding one arm around Juan’s shoulders, steering him across the street. “My mum has the best hot cocoa. You’ll love it.”

Fernando is right. And when Juan looks out of his window later that day and sees the sun shining brightly outside, he knows that the snowman won’t survive the end of the week. But something tells him that his friendship with Fernando will last forever.

They build a snowman next year as well. And the one after that. And by the time Juan is ten, it’s become a habit for them.

Nearly two decades later and they still do this silly thing. Not necessarily with the first snow – but definitely at least once during the winter. Fernando always makes Juan get the carrot.

 

 

Juan might have been only six when he first met this Fernando but that doesn’t mean he loved him any less. He remembers how his eyes widened and his smile grew fonder the moment Fernando first grinned down at him.

He doesn’t realise how deep his love runs back then. But it becomes pretty obvious a few years later, when it is the summer before Fernando’s final year of high school. Juan will never forget how Fernando says: “I like it when you call me Fer.” And Juan has to bite at his lower lip to keep himself from saying: ‘I know.’

And a week or two after that, Fernando surprises him once more. “Do you believe in soulmates?” Fernando looks so serious as he asks that question.

Juan’s heart beats faster. “Fer,” he starts, feeling giddy.

“Yeah, I know, silly. Forget I said anything,” Fernando says and storms out of the room before Juan can stop him.

Juan remembers all too clear how his teenage-self kept pining. Maybe this time, this lifetime, quite possibly any day now.

He gets pretty close to admitting his feelings to Fernando the day Fernando experiences his first break-up. He is an unhappy sobbing mess on the bed in his room. He doesn’t even look up when Juan enters and sits down on his bed.

“Everyone hates me,” Fernando whispers after a long silence.

“Nando, look up.” Juan can’t quite have this conversation when Fernando is studying his blanket.

Fernando looks up and Juan gets lost in his gaze. ‘Remember me, remember us,’ Juan prays. “ _I_ don’t hate you,” Juan says but what he means is ‘I love you.’ It doesn’t feel like a good time to say it, though. And Juan has this uneasy feeling like he’s had this conversation with Fernando before and it didn’t end well. “You’re an amazing person and she’s an idiot for not knowing that.”

Fernando smiles weakly. “Thank you.” And then he wraps his arms around Juan and hugs him like he needs to make sure Juan is really there with him. Juan can live with that but he couldn’t live without Fernando. So he doesn’t say anything.

Juan also remembers remarkably well the exact day when Fernando introduces him to his fiancée. The sad thing is, that by this life, Juan has learned to expect the sharp pang of despair.

 

 

**V**

Juan wakes up in the middle of the night because of a strange noise coming from the living room. He sits up in the bed and listens closely. Yes, there is definitely someone or something there. Juan grabs his cell but before calling the police he decides to check himself. Maybe it's just his imagination or something totally harmless and Juan doesn't want to be embarrassed in front of the police.

He tiptoes out of his bedroom and passing through the kitchen takes a knife in any case. The door of the living room is open. Juan peeks into the room and freezes. There is a tall guy standing in the darkness examining Juan's photo under the moonlight. Juan makes up his mind.

"Don't move," he shouts, "I have a gun."

The guy jumps and attempts to turn to Juan.

"I said don't move," Juan yells panicked and the guy freezes in his place.

"Stand right there and don't even think of doing something," Juan says more confident.

"I can explain," the guy croaks.

"Save your explanations for the police," Juan says.

"Please, don't call the police," the guys says, "I'm not a burglar. I didn't want to steal anything."

He tries to move again and Juan cries, "I'll fire. I have a gun."

"No, don't, let me explain," the guy pleads desperately.

He turns back slowly and Juan's heart flips when he sees his big, frightened eyes visible even under the dim light. Oh god, where has he seen those eyes?

"You don't have a gun," the guy points out relieved.

"But I have a knife and a cell and I'm calling the police," Juan threatens.

"No, wait," the intruder shakes his head, "I swear I didn't mean any harm to you. Don't call the police. They'll throw me in jail and I'll lose my job and everything. Please."

Juan's eyes go wide. This guy has problems with the law and he's still standing here listening to him. He should definitely call the police. But there is something in his voice, something familiar that doesn't let him do it.

"Fine, explain," he says, "What are you doing in my house?"

The intruder takes a deep breath.

"It-it's actually a little weird," he laughs awkwardly, "You've been in the café Otravida today." He pauses.

"So?", Juan urges but for some reason his heart is beating loudly against his ribcage.

"I work there. I'm a waiter. I didn't serve you. You probably didn't see me, but I saw you..."

"And?"

"And I followed you home," the guy says quickly, "I waited till it got dark and... I think you should really check your lock. I sneaked in easily."

Juan stares at him open-mouthed.

"Why?", he breathes.

The guy shifts uncomfortably.

"I don't really know," he says. "I just felt that... I just had to. I-I you seemed... I don't know," he sighs.

 

Juan's hands are shaking when he turns on the light. The first thing that catches his eyes when the intruder lowers his hand covering his face are freckles. Millions of them. And Juan sees, knows, remembers them. He's seen them in his dreams, in his nightmares, in other lives.

"Fernando," he whispers.

"You know my name?", Fernando says surprised.

"It's you. It's really you," Juan murmurs slowly moving forward.

Fernando holds his hands before him in a calming gesture.

"Hey, man, relax, you're creeping me out."

Juan snorts, "I'm creeping you out? You're the one who sneaks into other's homes in the middle of the night."

But Fernando doesn't look very convinced and is eyeing suspiciously the knife in Juan's hands. Juan has forgotten it's there. He puts the knife down and approaches Fernando with solid steps. The taller man touches his hair self-consciously. He always does it, when he's nervous, Juan knows. He smiles at Fernando reassuringly. They are very close now and all Juan hears is the loud beating of his heart. He looks into Fernando's eyes and knows just knows that this is it. This is when he can finally be happy. He pulls Fernando into a firm hug breathing in his scent, wanting to melt into him. The blond gasps and stills, but after a few seconds hugs Juan back and even passes his fingers through his soft curls.

"You aren't married, engaged, don't have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, don't have kids, aren't comatose, right?", Juan asks.

"What?", Fernando laughs, "No."

"Good," Juan says and kisses Fernando.

Later, much later, when Juan's already gotten used to the idea that Fernando is his this time, when they both have learned everything about each other's these lives, when Juan waits after the work for Fernando to come and take him home - their home, when Juan makes dinner for them, because the only thing Fernando can make is still his Spanish omelet, when Fernando already knows and believes Juan's crazy stories about the other times they've met, he asks Juan if this is worth it. If this simple life with Fernando is worth all the pain, suffering and heartbreaks Juan has lived over and over again. Juan knows that he asks it sincerely, not because he wants to hear positive answer. Juan knows because he can see it in his eyes - the pain he feels for Juan - and because it's Fernando, his Fernando. So he thinks it over for a moment remembering everything - how he had to lose Fernando in every possible way, how the piercing pain in his chest intensified with every new life, how he prayed for this curse or blessing, whatever it was, to be taken away from him.  
Then he looks at Fernando and remembers his shy smile every time when Juan tells him that he loves him, his eager voice when he tells that he loves him back, the way he freaks out when Juan just throws his clothes in the wardrobe in a messy pile, the way his soft lips brush against Juan's when they kiss, how it makes Juan feel like there are fireworks shooting in his heart. Juan cuddles closer to Fernando, looks up to meet his gaze and tells him that a single day of this life is worth hundreds of others.

He knows Fernando believes him.


End file.
